Two

It's a lot of words....and no pictures...but please hear our hearts and share.

I just received a phone call from Kelly Brown with Heart of the Bride Ministries (www.heartofthebride.org) letting us know that they are giving us a $3000 grant towards our adoption.  I am more overwhelmed with emotion than normal over this, as I'm not normally "a crier" and tend to see things rationally and more "black and white".  And the thing is, the rationale of this wonderful gift is that our Heavenly Father sees and has not forgotten our little one in Uganda.  He is still providing, still caring, and still preparing.  

The baby He gave us in my womb as a big surprise from Above around 16 weeks ago (we're still not sure of an accurate due date until two weeks from now when we have our ultrasound) is easy to see as my middle is quickly growing.  It's easy for others to relate and celebrate.  No one questions "why?", and no one shows disdain or disapproval.  Yet, when we pray, our hearts still cry out for two babies...the one here and the one there...all the way in Africa.  It's been incredibly emotional thinking about the difference in the two lives' beginnings, and to be really honest, it's been a struggle to have our sweet one in Uganda on my heart at least as much if not more than the one wiggling within yet him/her seeming so forgotten at times.  Mommy, Daddy and brothers haven't forgotten...the boys still ask about Africa daily and are currently really hoping to see a King Cobra while we're there.  The truth is, the Lord placed a desire and a child on our hearts years ago, and when we applied to adopt in January of 2011, that seed that had been planted began to really grow.  And it's a hard thing to describe that we have a child somewhere across the ocean and half a continent who has experienced only the Father knows what who could be waiting...or could still be in his/her family and the tragedy has yet to occur.  It's hard to think about our child having to experience such pain.  His/her mother may not have even had food during her pregnancy.  I get to eat whatever I crave, and she probably struggled to survive...likely without even clean water.  Baby could've been born on a dirt floor or in a jungle, not a sterile hospital with multiple professionals and eager family and friends eagerly awaiting his/her arrival.  And then....he/she became or will become an orphan.  Motherless.  Fatherless.  Family-less.  Sadness is the most accurate description for what my heart feels for our baby.  Paired with the sadness comes great hope and comfort in knowing that we serve an Almighty God who doesn't let pain go to waste...He uses it, and He molds and shapes us from every good and bad experience.  He makes all things beautiful.  How deeply thankful I am for Him.  We take great comfort in our Sovereign God knowing each detail, it's still hard.

Then we get a phone call like today.  And it's so much more than a monetary amount that's going to help out.  It's $3000 closer to being able to bring him/her home...forever.  And even more than that, it was a gentle, loving reminder from the Good Shepherd that He has not forgotten.  He knows and He cares and He is still providing and caring and loving each of us.  He's done it over the past couple of weeks as donations for our adoption have filed into Lifesong (www.lifesong.org).  $100.  $3000.  $25.  Every cent He uses to show us that those around us care, and that He cares.  I couldn't do this without him...not motherhood, not adoption, not life.  He's my Everything, and I am so deeply thankful today.  Rejoicing in His tender care.

{Please check out Heart of the Bride Ministries at www.heartofthebride.org.  They are a wonderful organization who ministers to orphans in many ways.  If you are an adoptive family or know an adoptive family in need of grant money, you can email Kelly Brown for their grant application at kelly@heartofthebride.org}

{We currently have an adoption account with Lifesong, a wonderful orphan care who does many things, one being help adoptive families raise money.  They are giving us a $3000 matching grant.  Your gift to them is tax-deductible and then goes towards our adoption.  Visit their website at www.lifesong.org.  We are Taylor/#2456 for donations.}

And it sounds so cliche to say, but it's the deep honest truth...your prayers for our precious baby are appreciated more than anything.  To know that you have not forgotten our wee one and all that he/she will face means the world to us.  Thank you.