Thinking.

Although I have multiple hilarious quotes from Daniel Isaac and several hysterical stories of my two little lights...I will save those for another time. I am really thinking about the baby we will adopt tonight....well, all the time and just writing about a sample of my thoughts tonight in our quiet home while my boys breathe deep, slow sleeping breaths.  I wonder...  


Will it be a boy or a girl?
Will it be more than one?
How old will he/she/they be?
When will we see him for the first time?
What will his given name be?
What will we name him?
What will his story be?
Will he be crying at night in the orphanage?
Does he have siblings?
What is his birth mama thinking and feeling?
Has he been conceived?  
Where will he be born?
What will be the day that I hold him for the first time?
Will my eyes ever dry in thinking and praying for this precious child?
What will the 24+ hour flight to and from Uganda be like?
What will we do while we're in Uganda?
What will my boys think about a foreign country?
What will it feel like to have baby home at last?
What will his/her birthday be?  
What will we do for their birthday party?
Will I ever stop staring at my children...all of them?
Will this overwhelming sense of gratitude for being on this journey ever cease...I hope not.  


I don't have any answers for my questions, hopes, dreams....I imagine many different scenarios, faces, paths.  And for those I am deeply thankful.  The greatest gift of all right now...


"My frame was not hidden from you 
   when I was made in the secret place, 
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 
 Your eyes saw my unformed body; 
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book 
   before one of them came to be." (Psalm 139:15-16)


And my response...
 
"How precious to me are your thoughts, God! 
   How vast is the sum of them!" (Psalm 139:17)


He knows.  He cares.